


booran: did you just compare philza minecraft to god

by c0akz3d



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Asexual Character, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Foster Care, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Other, Phil Watson Adopts Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Has Anxiety Disorder (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Has ADHD (Video Blogging RPF), Texting, TommyInnit Has Abandonment Issues (Video Blogging RPF), Trans Floris | Fundy, Trans Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:27:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29687397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0akz3d/pseuds/c0akz3d
Summary: reposting!!just ur average dream smp chatfic!
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Alexis | Quackity & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 31
Kudos: 355





	1. ME PERDONAS??: why are you telling god that techno's skipping an exam

9:48 AM

[ WIFE HAVER has added unus annus, bee kid, dreamie poo, I HAVE A GUN, ikarly, technology, and 13 others to NEW GROUP CHAT ]

[ WIFE HAVER has changed chat name to POGCHAMPIONS ]

WIFE HAVER: HEHY BITCFHES!!!!

bee kid: hello :D

dreamie poo: tommy what is this.

WIFE HAVER: WE DON'T HAVE AN OFFICIAL GROUPCHAT SO I MADE ONE!!!

[ technology has changed dreamie poo's name to dipsy but more homeless ]

dipsy but more homeless: ????

unus annus: haha teletubbies

ME PERDONAS??: that show was fucking horrifying

unus annus: idk I kinda liked it,,,,

ME PERDONAS??: blocking u rn🤚

unus annus: no pls :( 

bee kid: dont bee mesan quonking guy

ME PERDONAS??: was that a fucking pun... smh...

ME PERDONAS??: and how did you butcher my name that badly??

WIFE HAVER: don't go "smh" at tubbs you fucking heathen.

bee kid: it waasnt a apun butny ou can inteeprret iit like that!!

unus annus: tommy did you have to make this during class

WIFE HAVER: BECUASHE I CAN BITCC

technology: mm yes ~becuashe~

WIFE HAVER: FUCK YOU TECHNOBLOF

dipsy but more homeless: TECHNOBLOF TJEJWJWHAHHAHA

[ technology has changed WIFE HAVER's name to problem child ]

problem child: YOU STIOID FUCK

problem child: DIE INN A. HOLE.

suit: tommy don't be mean.

technology: ha ha ha ha ha

[ unus annus has changed their name to booran ]

problem child: ??? 

ME PERDONAS??: what the fuck is a booran

ME PERDONAS??: your name is already weird enough

booran: okay quonkity 👍

ME PERDONAS??: you little shit.

muffin: aren't you all supposed to be in class??

technology: yeah arent you all supposed to be in class

bee kid: teaachar is out ovff room!!

booran: I'm doing that double windows thing on my laptop it's all good👍

suit: techno I thought you had english?? dont you have an exam today??

technology: personally I just didnt go today cause yk the exam but you guys should be paying attention or something idk

suit: TECHNO.

technology: yes suit

suit: I'm telling Father Dearest

ME PERDONAS??: why are you telling god that techno's skipping an exam

booran: did you just compare philza minecraft to god

technology: I mean theres not really that big of a difference

technology: obviously despite the fact philza minecraft is, yk, real

ME PERDONAS??: what's that supposed to mean

[ technology has went offline ]

[ suit has went offline ]

[ booran has went offline ]

[ problem child has went offline ]

[ dipsy but more homeless has went offline ]

ME PERDONAS??: t,,, tubbo??

[ bee kid has went offline ]

ME PERDONAS??: heart been broke so many times

1:24 PM

van gogy: ???

van gogy: what'd I miss

dipsy but more homeless: did you seriously just wake up

van gogy: are you seriously surprised I just woke up

swap: smh dream


	2. dipsy but more homeless: r u still vomiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wikihow to summarize chapters  
> tw for v/miting and brief mention of m/rder

[ POGCHAMPIONS ]

3:23 AM

ME PERDONAS??: did u guys here ab the watch me whip guy murdering his cousin

booran: did he nae nae over their corpse

ME PERDONAS??: mayhaps

technology: why are you guys awake

ME PERDONAS??: could ask you the same thing mister blade.

technology: don't call me that

technology: why are you awake though

booran: I'm just watching alvin & the chipmunks but quackity what r u doing

ME PERDONAS??: why do u care lol

booran: I don't but I feel like I should now

swap: he can't sleep alone

swap: do u want me to come over

ME PERDONAS??: I can sleep just fine alone

ME PERDONAS??: I'm just not tired asshole

ME PERDONAS??: techno why r u awake huh???

technology: I live in a constant state of anxiety and hyperanalysis and you expect me to have a healthy sleep schedule

technology: smh I expected more of you

swap: quackity r u sure u don't want me 2 come over cause I can if you need me to

ME PERDONAS??: I'm literally fine???

I HAVE A GUN: stop fucking blowing up my phone

ME PERDONAS??: gfy

I HAVE A GUN: now that you've woken me up I just fucking might

technology: ew

7:28 AM

muffin: goodmorning every1 :]

technology: oh shit its morning

muffin: language >:(

suit: have you been awake this whole time

technology: maybe

suit: ...

[ DMs: suit + philza minecraft ]

suit: techno hasn't slept all night

philza minecraft: is he ok

suit: idk ask him urself

[ sleepy bois inc ]

dadza: care to explain why you haven't slept all night, technoblade

dumbass: oooh 

technobro: oh would you look at that I'm late for class bye

dadza: technoblade.

technbro: yes father dearest

dadza: what's going on.

technobro: can we discuss this later

technobro: please

simp: no u cant escape it

dadza: after school. 

simp: WHAT

simp: DAD

dadza: yeah

simp: WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM GET OUT OF TALKING ABOUT IT???

dadza: because he has rights to his privacy??

dadza: wdym

simp: acting as if you believe all your children have rights to privacy, now?

simp: wow, philza minecraft

dumbass: such blatant favoritism

[ POGCHAMPIONS ]

10:23 AM

booran: guys

booran: help

bee kid: ranboo r u ok D: ???

booran: no

booran: we're doing frog dissections in biology and I straight up vomited

booran: this is pain

bee kid: oh no :(!!

problem child: haha L

ME PERDONAS??: I thought people did frog dissections in fucking 7th grade

booran: idk we're doing them now ig??

booran: all I'm sure of is that I threw up on the floor

dipsy but more homeless: r u still vomiting

booran: yes

technology: how r u texting and vomiting

booran: I'm just built different 

booran: but pls help the other students in the class are looking at me now

technology: I'd assume so

technology: who just fucking throws up in the middle of a frog dissection 

booran: me??

10:43 AM

booran: so nobody's gonna help me :(


	3. problem child: fuck you wilbur soot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter bc I wanted 2 just Post This
> 
> and ik that jschlatt is a ram and was going to make his username "silence of the rams" at first bc funny,, but I just wanted to make him a goat hybrid bc goats faint when scared and it's just A Headcanon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm genuinely happy oml?? 700 something hits?? jus *flappy handz* thank u 4 reading this 👉👈

[ POGCHAMPIONS ]

3:52 PM

problem child: SHIT

problem child: FUCK

problem child: I FUCKED UP HELP

bee kid: TOMMY WHAT HAPPENED 

booran: r u good bro

suit: ^^^

problem child: I TRIED SCARJNG SCHLATT AS A PRANK OR SKONETHING ANS HE SJUST FUCKIJGBD FAINTED WHAT FHE XUCK

ME PERDONAS??: HSJAJSHAHAHHA

problem child: THIS ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY QUACKITY 

problem child: DOWS HE HAVE LIKE MEDICAL PROBLEMS OR SOME SHIT??? WHY WOULD HE JUST FUCKING FAINT

ME PERDONAS??: dude

suit: jschlatt is a goat hybrid thing, remember 

problem child: AND??

ME PERDONAS??: goat + scared = faint

problem child: OH

suit: now ur getting it👍

problem child: fuck you wilbur soot

[ DMs: technology + philza minecraft ]

philza minecraft: ok so

philza minecraft: what's wrong

technology: uhhh

philza minecraft: I said you'd have to tell me after school

technology: yeah yeah I know I just dunno how to say this

technology: um

technology: you know how I'm like. not really. Male. biologically anyways.

philza minecraft: oh

philza minecraft: is that what's bothering you?

technology: yessir

philza minecraft: well, you're still a man. and you're still my son, regardless of what your body's like.

philza minecraft: is there anything I can do to help?

technology: I mean idk??

technology: I can deal with it I think

philza minecraft: alright, dont hesitate to ask if you need something, though

philza minecraft: remember to drink water and take off your binder in two hours.

philza minecraft: and get some sleep in today, yeah?

technology: alright 👍

[ POGCHAMPIONS ]

4:20 PM

swap: haha funny number

dipsy but more homeless: haha

van gogy: haha

ikarly: haha

ME PERDONAS??: haha

problem child: haha

furry: haha

furry: also what is this

I HAVE A GUN: a gc you dumb fuck 

furry: :/

[ sleepy bois inc ]

4:43 PM

dumbass: @technobro @technobro @technobro

technobro: what

simp: @technobro @technobro @technobro

technobro: what did I do

dumbass: watch a movie with us

technobro: do I have a choice

simp: nope :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lul not me projecting onto technoblade lol??? but 2 my fellow binder-wearing folks remember 2 bind safely, no longer than 8 hours!! (also putting this here 4 myself cause a few times I kept it on for like 11 whoops) nd remember 2 drink water and rest a bit, you deserve it :D!!


	4. sand lamp: I'm going to Commit Homicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jus a filler chapter before I throw needless fluff into this thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> v short I'm Sorry

[ POGCHAMPIONS ]

5:03 PM

[ dipsy but more homeless has changed their name to dredre ]

dredre: forgot to change that

problem child: OH YY3AH WE CNAN CHANGE AOUR NAE

[ problem child has changed their name to A MAN ]

swap: please learn how to type,,, trying to read your spelling is simply torture,,,,,

A MAN: I'M GOMNA GUFCKING STABA YOU TOU BITCJH

A MAN: FUCKKIJNG

A MAN: GUCKVIGN

A MAN: FUCKIGKGD

swap: take ur time

A MAN: FUCKCIYOU SAND LAMP

dredre: SAND LAMP SALAPQPEJEJ ?????

[ dredre has changed swap's name to sand lamp ]

van gogy: lmfao

sand lamp: I'm going to Commit Homicide

booran: please stop spamming this I'm trying to sleep

A MAN: JUSTTTURN OFF TYOUT NOTIFCICANTIONS PUSYSY

A MAN: WHYBARRE YOU EVEBEN GOINGNTO SLEEL ITS LIKE 5

booran: if i do that I'll probably forget about this chat 

van gogy: is that why they call you memory boy

booran: who is they???

bee kid: :)

7:23 PM

ikarly: saaap 

ikarly: saaaaaaap

ikarly: @sand lamp 

ikarly: @sand lamp

A MAN: will yiu shut up 

sand lamp: dont tell him to shut up you fetus

sand lamp: but anyways what is it my beloved 

ikarly: I locked myself out of the house on accident 

ikarly: it's cold :(

sand lamp: I'm not home rn uhhh

sand lamp: @ME PERDONAS?? alex karl locked himself out nd I'm not home can u unlock the door plspls

booran: why don't u guys talk in DMs

booran: some people are Trying To Sleep

A MAN: you said that two hours ago

booran: your point being

ME PERDONAS??: oh yeah yeah one sec

ikarly: thank u quackity :D


	5. in which the author loses inspiration halfway through the chapter and ends up posting it unfinished

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wilbur, tommy nd techno brotherly relationship pog??? this chapter is so self indulgent I just want Big Brother Technoblade with his Supportive Little Bros plspsplslssll
> 
> kinda fluffy
> 
> just sleepy techno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooc bc I cant *laying on the floor* I cant write
> 
> takes place during the last chapter mostly but also kinda?? before??

technoblade was sat on his bed, knees to his chest with his head facing down, when he heard a "ding!" erupt from his phone. he sighed and looked up, squinting at the sudden brightness of the room and grabbing his phone, changing his sitting position so he was leaning back onto the wall with his legs out in front of him.

Typing in his passcode and tapping on the notification, he felt his face shift from subtle discontentment to annoyance. 

[ sleepy bois inc ]

4:43 PM

dumbass: @technobro @technobro @technobro

he typed in a quick response and exited out of the app, waiting for another message. opening up flow free, he achieved a new high score for the 30 second time trial.

feeling a vibration and hearing another "ding!", he groaned and clicked the notification again. this time, the pinging was from wilbur.

typing in another response, he stayed in the app to save his frustration. within two seconds, he received another message.

dumbass: watch a movie with us

he read the message and felt his expression change from annoyed, to confusion, to minor gratitude.

technobro: do I have a choice

simp: nope :)

he sighed once again, shutting off his phone and laying it face-down on his bed. he stared up at the ceiling, not being able to muster up the energy to drag himself downstairs.

he knew he probably should, seeing as he doesn't spend as much time with his brothers as he usually did in the past week, and that he needed a distraction from his own mind. sitting alone for hours on end typically caused him to spiral into internal breakdowns and general feelings of unease. his enhanced dysphoria this week only made his situation worse.

after a few minutes, he sat up and let his feet touch the ground, attempting to stand and make his way downstairs. though, he felt as if he was glued to the bed, and immediately sat back down after the first attempt, his energy draining once again. he lifted his hand to his face and rubbed his eye in annoyance.

he tried to stand for a second time, succeeding and letting a faint smile flash across his face from victory. he let it fade quickly, though, seeing being able to get out of bed as someone stupid to be proud of.

he considered taking off his binder in case he fell asleep watching the movie, but shrugged off the thought, thinking he could force himself awake, and grabbed his phone from his bed.

begrudgingly, he opened his door and slowly dragged himself downstairs, in no hurry to meet with anyone, regardless of who it was, and probably be forced to talk to them. somewhere in the back of his mind, though, he knew neither of his brothers would force him to speak if he didn't feel up to it. he appreciated that greatly.

"techno! how you feeling, big man?" tommy called from the couch, smiling as he saw techno approaching from the bottom of the staircase. wilbur looked behind him from where he was at the dvd player, smiling when he caught sight of him, waving him over.

techno shrugged and sat down on the couch, against the arm opposite to the place tommy was sitting. he placed his elbow on the arm and leaned his head on the heel of his palm.

wilbur plopped down in the middle of the two with a few movie cases in hand.

"which one you guys wanna watch?"

::time skip luls::

about halfway through the movie, wilbur felt technoblade lean his head on his shoulder and smiled, glancing at him and patting him on the head. noticing he fell asleep, he sighed and continued watching the movie.

techno's light snores could be heard by tommy as well, resulting in him tapping on wilbur's shoulder and gesturing to the sleeping boy next to them, as if to ask if he was awake, to which he got a nod in response.

"should we wake him up?" tommy asked as quietly as he could. wilbur thought for a second before mouthing a "why?". sighing, tommy replied, "he might be wearing his binder, he can't sleep in it or it'll hurt 'im." 

a look of realization washed across his face, turning to techno and nudging him slightly to shake him awake.

his eyes slowly started to open and he groggily looked up to wilbur, smiling a bit and nodding, putting his head down again to fall back asleep. wilbur nudged him again and started to gently whisper to him.

"c'mon tech, wake up for a sec." he felt kinda bad for waking him up when he seemed so tired. "you wearin' your binder right now?" 

techno's eyebrows furrowed and he sat up, rubbing his eyes before nodding.

"alright, should probably take that off 'fore you pass out, yeah?" techno chuckled a bit and nodded, sleepily standing up and making his way towards the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wikihow to end chapters lol???


	6. A MAN: I will maul you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so I guess i forgot about this lol?? also I'm seeing a lot of comments about unsafe binding so like Please tell me yall at least take short breaks throughout the day bc it is not healthy to wear it for longer than 8 hrs and I am concerned 👍

[ POGCHAMPIONS ]

2:12 pm

bee kid: me and tony ore in detertiom lol

suit: who's tony

bee kid: tommy

suit: o lol

booran: w8 why r u gusy in detention

I HAVE A GUN: yeah why

suit: where did you come frm 👁

bee kid: we where trying to get revege becuase dream spilled juice on tomys white part of his shit so we broke his favotrine watch lol

A MAN: AND DREAM FUCKING TOLD OUR BIOLOGY TEACHER LIKE A FUCKING PUSSY

A MAN: INSHATE YOUD REAM

dredre: sam gave me that watch tho :(

A MAN: SO

A MAN: DEAL WITH IT LIKE A MAN YOU FUC KI TNR AKEKDJDJSM

dredre: I hate You

A MAN: WHY'D YOUBCAPPIFTALLIRD YOU YOU FCIOJGEIJG NERD

dredre: you capitalize everything stfu🤚

A MAN: UORIS FLWAPQPQPQPANSSK

technology: bruh that's not even translatable

A MAN: FUCK YOU TOU DTUPUDOLL SHA LALA

suit: sha lala

A MAN: I will maul you.

suit: lol.

5:38 PM

[ ME PERDONAS?? has changed their name to quackity ]

sand lamp: ALEX HI

quackity: sorry I'm busy

sand lamp: AW :(

[ sleepy bois inc ]

simp: I'm just saying that swedish fish are capable of sexually arousing sum1 if done correctly

simp: I did Not ask to be attacked for my honest opinion 

philza minecraft: wilbur pls you've been talking about this for weeks

[ technobro has left sleepy bois inc ]

dumbass: HSjAlBA????

[ dumbass has added THE BLADE to sleepy bois inc ]

simp: no keep him out

simp: he doesn't appreciate my fish talk 

THE BLADE: tommy I told you to change my name from that like two months ago

dumbass: no

[ THE BLADE has changed their name to far better than u ]

[ dumbass has changed far better than u's name to PIG MAN ]

PIG MAN: tommy.

dumbass: yyes technotphalledee

[ philza minecraft has changed dumbass's name to least favorite ]

least favorite: ??? DAD WHA :(????

simp: smh phil I thought you said you didn't pick favorites

simp: now look. you've made tommy Sad.

simp: it's high time you've gotten consequences for your actions, philza minecraft.

PIG MAN: bruh stop trying to sound so ominous I can hear you giggling from the kitchen

simp: FICK6IK OFFFSPTECHONOPLAMBNE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect this to get much hits nd kudos so thank u :)


End file.
